Churn-Free Ice Cream

     
Churn-Free Ice Cream from Hattie Kotz on Vimeo.

So, I joined a gym. 

I know you just read the words "Ice cream" and weren't

ready for that type of distastefully conflicting news, 

but bear with me. 

The gym is full of tan babes with more make up on to work out 

than I wore in my borderline emo stages and to every high school dance combined. 

They don't sweat. 

They weigh themselves and stuff. 

Me? Naw.

I'm the girl in the gym with the floppy t-shirt with an ohio-shaped 

patch of fabric sown onto the front of it to cover a handsome

caesar dressing stain.  

Any make-up that has found its way to my face is being sweated off as

I try to battle between watching Mrs. Doubtfire and watching my 

every step as to not fall off of the terrifying stair climber machine,

moving my head back and forth so much you'd think 

I was watching an incredibly intriguing 

tennis match. 

(Hint- those don't exist. Tennis is wicked boring.)

I strive humbly to have a tush more comparable

 to that of Christina Hendricks,

and to be less out of breath come autumn's inevitable 14-floor school 

fire drills. 

I never want to be a push-up bra jogger or a calorie counter.

I never want to turn down a piece of pizza or
be good-looking enough to the point

where I am disqualified from partaking in

self-deprecating humor. 

Because Jesus, what fun would life be then?

So, I joined a gym. 

Now let's have some ice cream, dammit. 

I read about this "no-churn" type of ice cream recipe on Raspberri Cupcakes

and decided to give it a whirl.

I was pretty skeptical, but my expectations were pleasantly exceeded!

The base of the ice cream goes like this-

1 pint of heavy cream, whipped to soft peaks

1 can of sweetened condensend milk

Whip the cream and gently fold in the condensed milk.

Next, flavor happens.

I chose to make some fresh raspberry sauce and swirl in some Nutella

because both of those things are worth 

any amount of elliptical-ing. 

(Ellip-tickling?)

But really, anything goes here. 

Throw in some caramel sauce, chocolate chips,

cookie pieces, jam, whatever you got. 

You can mix your flavors in with the 

cream in the whipping stage if you want it to be

fully mixed into the ice cream,

or you could take the peasant path and just swirl some blobs around. 

It looks much prettier this way.

That counts. 

Freeze that bad boy over night and you got yourself some nice-cream! 

To send you on your way,

here is a nice little playlist that will make you feel triumphant

whether you be showin' the gym what you're workin' with, or

shamelessly stuffing your face. 

Keep in mind, triumph wears many musical hats. Don't judge.