Spring Vegetable Croque Madame

Croque Madame.

Loosely translates to "Crunchy Lady."

Which is quite fitting, because that is what I feel like these days.

The quarter life crisis is real, people.

College is over.

 You're in a land of pseudo-adulthood where

you own dishes that aren't plastic 
and could probably tie a tie if you had to,

but you still eat boxed macaroni and cheese for breakfast sometimes.

This is a land where nobody wants to give you a big girl job,

so you stalk companies and write cover letters

for hours and days

like a pathetic loser relentlessly trying to appeal to an unrequited love

until the universe has sucked the entirety of your soul out

with one of those straws you used to

get when you bought a lot of Nesquik.

And every time you go to work you're asked

"So any jobs yet?" "How is the job hunt coming?" "So, what's your plan?"

Plan? My plan is to hit every person in the head

 with an oversized cartoon hammer.

And then go eat snacks. 

Because I'm a grown ass adult with a plan.

While all of your enemies are spinning in circles with cartoon birds

around their heads,

you should turn on your oven. 

350 degrees. 

Throw some asparagus and green onions in the broiler 

to get a little color.

Brush the bottom of a lovely slice of bread with some olive oil and layer it

with gruyere cheese, ham (or your preferred pork product,)

and your roasty vegetables.

Throw a fried egg on it.

Stab it a couple times. 

You'll feel better. 

What goes great with Crunchy lady sammiches?
Beet Chips! Sort of like Kale chips except that they are delicious and
not so disgusting that you want to die.


Until the next, crunchy ladies and misters.