Monday, June 30, 2014

Boozy Frozen Watermelon

There are occasions that call for your feelings to be eaten. 
Such as when it's your day off and there are too many 
people logged in to your Netflix
account and it won't let you watch.

There are also occasions where you need to soak
your feelings in booze and then eat them.
Such as when the cashier at the grocery store tells you that
you're never going to get a husband if your grocery habits
 entail only buying tequila and watermelon.

Would you believe that this is the second time I've been told I'm never going
to get a husband for something that i've done at that grocery store?
Second time.

Whether you're in the business of eating feelings
 or trying to earn your "most creative use of alcohol" sorority girl merit badge,
 these are easy and delightful.
All you gotta do is soak the watermelon for 30 minutes and freeze overnight.

Once frozen, dip the ends in salt or sugar and have at it.
And *bonus!* You can chop it up and blend it
with the extra tequila and it makes 
a splendid watermelon slushie.
Look at that! Double merit badges.

Until the next my dears. 
Keep cool out there.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Dutch Baby

Today I applied for a big girl job that
held out it's fancy, sophisticated hand and said "LinkedIn Profile?"
My hands got a little sweaty. 
My knees buckled a little.
I can accomplish this, no problem.
But I began having awake-nightmares about being one of those
people who sends 1000 emails inviting everybody to 
"Join me on LinkedIn!"
It wouldn't happen to me. I had this. 

Things were going so smoothly, my confidence was sitting on a golden tuffet.
Then, I noticed a little circle on the side of the page.
Mine was filled just a tiny bit to a level deemed "poor" or "beginner" or "wussy"
I can't remember. I've blocked it from my memory. 
"Add connections!" it tells me. 
I press the button. I press all the buttons. I press them three times 
because it doesn't appear to be working.

It was that moment that I became my fear. 
I was an ashamed and accidental over-indulgent LinkedIn inviter.

It was the same sinking feeling as
having to walk through the perfume department to get to the escalator
or giving up your pizza crusts when
 you really were about to eat them.

I felt like zero dollars. 
To cheer myself up, Dutch baby.

3 large eggs

2/3 c. whole milk

2/3 c. all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/8 tsp. salt

3 tbsp butter.

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. The Fahrenheit kind. 
Tickle your eggs with an electric mixer for 4-ish minutes until they are frothy.
Slowly mix in the rest of the nonsense, except for the butter.

Melt the butter in a 10 in. cast iron skillet and swirl it around until it covers the whole surface.
Pour mixture into the buttered skillet and bake for 18-20 minutes.

Your Dutch baby will emerge fluffy and excited...
for approximately one minute.
Then it will lay down and submit to the bath of 
fresh fruit, chocolate sauce, powdered sugar, or ice cream that you
have in store for it.

Until the next kiddies!


Friday, June 6, 2014

Thai Coconut Soup

Soup is a great best friend. 

It always wants to hangout with you.
It's down to hop in a thermos and go on a walk
or sit through a shameful amount of gossip girl on the couch.
If you get sick of it, it'll hangout in the freezer
until you're ready to be friends again.
Soup will even do you a solid and spill a little on your shirt
every once in a while to keep your ego in check. 

Soups got your back.

This thai coconut soup and I have been hanging out a lot lately. 
Like "i'd put him on my Myspace top 8" a lot.
It's super creamy and flavorful without being gluttonous 
and it makes you feel flossy even
though it hardly costs anything.

1/2 stalk lemongrass
1 tbsp red curry paste
1 lime, zest & juice
1 small white onion
2 cans coconut milk
1 1/2 c. vegetable stock
1/2  of a red bell pepper, thinly sliced.

cilantro, bean sprouts, and jalapeno for garnish.

Blend the onion, lemongrass, curry, lime juice and zest in a food processor or blender.
Fry the paste in a tablespoon of oil for a minute on medium heat, stirring constantly.
add the bell pepper, coconut milk and vegetable stock and whisk everything together.
Simmer for 10-15 minutes and add salt and pepper to your liking. 

Fill a bowl. Top with some shrimp or tofu or tears of joy.


                                                                  Until the next, dears!