Sunday, March 31, 2013

Easter Brunch

Spittin' a little lifestyle-blog action at you guys.
No recipe here today.
Sorry folks, some recipes are meant to be kept between
me and my ham.

You understand.

This was my second Easter away from my family
and our long-lived holiday traditions of eating and then waiting
around until it's time to eat more.

 Last year I was left alone with boxed wine, tulips that I cut from
the planters in the middle of the city streets, and a quiche.

While that may sound strangely appealing, it was mostly just a little pathetic.

This year, we decided to have a sort of lonely-hearts club brunch
for all of us celebration-less Easter celebrators in the city.

I put on my best homemaker apron and churned out whipped honey butter,
a brown sugar glazed ham, honey dijon garlic herb potatoes, and a tacky kool whip
covered fruit salad to end all tacky kool whip covered fruit salads.

The weather was surprisingly lovely, 
which turned our brunch into a back porch picnic.

Salty meats, spring breezes,
who could ask for anything more?

 It was a lovely little time, kids.
I hope your easters were > than most things.
I really mean it.
Pinky swear.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Maple Bacon Mug Cake

Maple Bacon Mug Cake from Hattie Kotz on Vimeo.

7 years and one cheesecake ago, gold was struck.  
A sad friend was in the dumps, having recently been dumped by her high school boyfriend 
over the telephone. 

I, being shy and strange and awkward, extended consolation. 
In the ever-radient form of a Wonka Bar cheesecake, topped with 
Alanis Morrosette's head on a toothpick and words of girlpower and wisdom
ripped right out of a Spice Girls CD lyrics leaflet. 

This was the dawning of the best relationship both of us have ever been in. 
A best-friendship built to withstand harsh winds, the fiery depths of high school, 
tropical storms and copious amounts of teen angst.

7 years later, Mary and I are still going strong. 
Needless to say, this is the most successful rebound situation of all time. 
7 year itch, you say?
We still eat off each others plates. 
We still have synchronized taco cravings and 
appreciate each others abundant Full House references. 
We can still pick it back up like nothing has changed even if we haven't seen 
each other in months. 

Power couple, you say?
I say, yes. 

To make merry of our day together, we decided to fill my empty house with 
season 2 of GIRLS, bubbly breakfast beverages, blanket forts and
mugs full of maple bacon coffee cake. 

Perfect for those "Oh, they added a new Auschwitz documentary to Netflix?
 Good luck getting me to put pants on today!" kind of days,
this recipe is built for two..
or one person with two mugs...
or four people that particularly like sharing small portions of cake..

whichever strikes your fancy. 
I won't judge you. 

Here's a little flavor to keep your ears happy while you
 laze around with mugs of carbs and good friends.

Enjoy, lasses and lads!


Monday, March 25, 2013

Smoked Sea Salt Caramel & Chocolate Porter Float

I come bearing bad news. 
My cactus plant has committed suicide. 
He fell right off of his spot on the shelf in the kitchen all by himself.
I tried moving his companion cactus in with a few succulents 
to keep her company in these hard times, 
but she must have been too torn apart from her loss, 
for she too has now passed. 

But in the dark passing of two near and dear cactus friends 
some light has entered the dark plant atmosphere 
that currently exists in my kitchen. 

Tiny sprouts have started to lift their tiny sprout heads from the soil
where I have planted seeds in attempts to start an herb garden. 
They are teeny bundles of joy. 
I have named them all my tinies. 
I talk to them in high pitched voices 
and remind them how adorable and small they are.
Tiny plants have a lot going on, I surely wouldn't want them to forget. 

So, in fond memory of cacti come and gone and celebration of 
these new tinies, I give you these
 Smoked Sea Salt Caramel & Chocolate Porter floats. 

What better menial occasion to celebrate with the 
merging of two of my favorite things,
beer and ice cream?

The smoked sea salt caramel sauce brings out the smokey roasted notes in the Porter 
and compliments the rich coffee and chocolate flavors. 
Paired with a few scoops of vanilla ice cream, this float is the perfect way 
to make beer, well, dessert, which as always been a dream fo mine. 

For this float, I have chosen to use 
Edmund Fitzgerald by Great Lakes Brewery to represent my Cleveland-ness, 
but any chocolate porter or stout should come out on top. 
To represent my roomate's Colorado-ness, we also tried a vanilla porter
from Breckenridge Brewery in Colorado, 
which was inferior to the glory of the Edmund Fitzgerald, but still quite tasty.

Enjoy folks!

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Lush Convert

So, in my experience attending college in this day in age,
 I have learned a new four letter word. 

That word is LUSH. 

If you mention the LUSH brand to any woman between the age of 14 and 40
they will get these big doe-y eyes on and melt into a puddle of 
rainbows right before your eyes. 

Like, you'd think someone just told them 
"Hey! We are remaking the old titanic and we are going to photoshop your face over Kate Winslet's for the whole movie!"
"Bambie's mom didn't die! It was an illusion!"

That kind of all-encompassing whole-body type reaction of the purest happiness possible. 
That happens. 
Every time.

Being one who is more apt to the $2 family sized bottle of shampoo and wouldn't 
know what to do with eyeshadow if I had to try, I was not
really jumping at the chance to climb aboard the LUSH love train.

However, this semester in my commercial photo studies, I was looking to step outside of my ever-comfortable food box.

I wanted to have an intent, a specific client, a brand to represent. 
I wanted to try something new. 

Of course, the first word out of everyones mouth was LUSH. 
So it happened. 
And I gotta say I am now on team LUSH. It's kind of like team Edward 
except for more expensive and less sparkly, probably. 

So, there is a little taste of what my school work looks like. 
As far as the actual products go, i'll give you a little 2 cents. 

The Shampoo Bars (pictured with the macaroons)-

They kick ass. That tiny little thing is going to wash my hair and make me
smell nice until September. Longevity is key when shopping for
cookie-looking shampoo related products. Hattie approved.

The Latte Lip Tint-

While i'm sure the only time that i'll ever use it is when I had to put it on to make those
lip marks on that mug, it is probably still a quality product.
 It was a little flossy for my personal taste (Shiny things and my face are not really on speaking terms)
but i'm sure it would make the right face really happy. 
It tasted good. 
That counts for things. 

The Cupcake Face Mask-

It made my oily teenage girl-esque skin feel very adult-like and not oily for a nice while. 
Always a good thing. 
Also, it smells delicious. I'm pretty sure that it probably also tastes delicious. 
I'll let you know. 

And a special thanks to my girl Bailey at Fritz Pastry for being an awesome assistant. 
Not just anybody will fluff and re-fluff your latte, and kiss a napkin for you,
and let your make a huge mess in the corner of their coffee shop. 

Nope, that is a special kind of love. 
So thanks, doll :)

Until the next, lovlies!

Friday, March 8, 2013

Cucumber Blackberry Mojitos

*DISCLAIMER* your drink will be prettier than this. I shot this in the studio. I didn't bring my muddler to the studio and my pop was flat. Life is hard.*END DISCLAIMER*

Flipping my planner page over to March,
my heart did a little cartoonish balloon dance
where it swells up in big breaths and then pops and wheezes into a pile. 

So. much. happening. 

Inspite of this impending scheduled madness, 
there is a ridiculous amount of excitement brewing in me. 
From back to back weekends of wedding shoots to stacks of sketches for studio shoots, to planning nights with my growing list of nanny kids, good things are happening.

And I will be humming the 20-something anthem of "Work hard, play hard!" in my every action. 

Although, unlike many 20-somethings, my work hard consists of slinging children over my shoulder to save them from imaginary crocodiles swimming in the rug, and protecting the layer cake that i'm carrying to the studio in my purse, and my play hard consists of going to Medieval times and gorging myself on pancakes. 

And Mojitos. Lots of Mojitos. 

Mint. Cucumbers. Limes. Booze. These are soothing things. We need these in times like these. 

Sunday, March 3, 2013

Homemade Waffles

Homemade Pancakes from Hattie Kotz on Vimeo.

Some afternoons are built for being productive. 
For measuring things, 
and quoting dead people.
 For nodding your head with a stiff brow
and wearing clothes that match,
and looking important. 

This afternoon was not one of those. 
Quite contrary, actually. 

This afternoon was for sleeping late into the day with your socks 
drooping off your feet that are dangling far away from your bed.

The kind of afternoon where breakfast is served only a few hours before 
winter's sundown, and the only faith you need lies in
 cured pork products and Netflix. 

It's afternoons like this that cry for the company of best friends, 
and my favorite waffle recipe.