Friday, February 22, 2013

Citrus & Roasted Beet Salad

Oh, there is snow outside?
Barrack Obama is still president?
Birthday cake Oreos are a thing now?

I wouldn't know. 
My eyeballs have been covered in a thick mask of books,
camera viewfinders, terrible zeroxed copies of antique articles 
and mild distaste for my life choices
 for a while now. 

Train rides have turned into a balancing act
of warding off creepy men with one arm and curling a book in the other,
alternating shooting glares of disgust in one direction
and wide learning eyes in the other. 
(I'd advise you not to get your directions confused. That ends poorly.)

While 18 credit hours doesn't quite taste like victory yet,
this salad sure does. 

Hearty roasted beets layered with tangy slices of blood orange
 rest atop a bed of crispy greens,
drizzled with a sweet honey shallot vinaigrette.

Yes, beets I say! 
No, not the putrid pickled things that you hexed as a child
at the dinner buffet salad bar. 
Those things are like these beets drunkard uncle. 
Hardly even related. 
Or at least that's what they tell people in public. 

This beat and citrus salad is as light, sweet, and refreshing as your day should be, 
even if it is not.

Pairs wonderfully with an afternoon of reviewing German History notes.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Single Ladies Bread Pudding

It's that time of year again, kittens. 

The time of year where you get squashed into a crevice on the train 
surrounded by couples of all shapes and sizes, batting eyelashes at each other shamelessly in public
and whispering sweet nothings in each others ears and pecking each other every 
other blink. 

Everything is pink and red, the national colors of self loathing among the single community. 

Your facebook newsfeed is flooded with memes about loneliness and
defiant statuses about how this day is crap and
yadda yadda Alanis Morrissette quotes yadda yadda

Come on, folks. 

We can do better than this. 
Really, we can. 
If you don't believe me,
bacon roses. 

On board now?
Thought so.

This recipe yields a breakfast bread pudding fit for one.
One independent woman or man, 
who happens to enjoy a solitary breakfast as any proper human should, 
and also happens to have a hunk of baguette leftover from
the other night when they were tearfully gnawing on it 
while watching the Sleepless in Seattle. 

Since that definitely applies to you, i'll go on. 

Light some scented candles. 
Read the newspaper.
Make yourself a heart shaped egg. 
Stab the yolk like you're in the opening sequence of Dexter, 
pretending it is the metaphorical heart of some jerk who has wronged you. 
Or don't because you're definitely over it and stuff like that. 

Twirl yourself up some bacon roses.

Sit and breathe in the coffee air and let carbohydrates and animal fats remind you 
how much they love you. 

You work hard. You deserve it.

This playlist is chock full of womanly sass and independence to take 
you from cooking to crumbs.

Enjoy, babes!


Monday, February 4, 2013

Tomato & Acorn Squash Bisque

Why must there be all this snow on the ground when I've unearthed my 
jelly shoes from the clutches of my closet and want nothing more than to trot 
down the street to the pie shop in them? 

Why must there be such a chubby stack of semiotics essays that I have to read when 
all I want to do is embroider Kanye West quotes on pillows and
 listen to my new Saintseneca record?

Why am I still not Beyonce, even though I wish for it every time 
I blow out my scented candles before bed?

As a wise Joy the Baker once said, I don't have all the answers. But I do have all the soup. 

All the tender love and nostalgia of Campbell's creamy tomato
got married to the hunky heartiness of winter's favorite squash. 

They're still going through the honeymoon phase, 
and I am reaping all the benefits. 

This soup is thick and humble, with a slight kick from the ginger. 
Get happy.